Living Connected

Published in October 2021!

Introverts do so much well. They listen well, feel deeply, and think carefully. They also take delight in quiet and happily spend time alone. Yet even introverts need friends to support them through the rough patches, to challenge them to live well, to help them laugh. And God calls even introverts to live connected. No small challenge!

In her warm, conversational, story-loving voice, Afton Rorvik writes about creative and practical ways to embrace introversion as a friendship-building tool―in a quiet, thoughtful way, of course.

Introverts (and those who love them) will find courage and challenge here to build life-giving friendships, one word at a time.

Some Words from My Friends about Living Connected

Afton Rorvik’s heart beats in the rhythm of friendship. Her longing for deep connection has motivated her to help others struggling to find meaningful relationships. Her book Living Connected gives practical advice, insightful research, and biblical guidance all woven into her own honest stories. Readers looking for help in cultivating friendship will find it here.

Sharla Fritz, author of Waiting: A Bible Study on Patience, Hope, and Trust

At last—a field guide to friendship written by an especially keen observer of our human need for meaningful relationships! While tending and befriending others might come easily for the outgoing and gregarious among us, there are countless others whose empathy, loyalty, and generosity of spirit make them the kind of friends the rest of us long to have. Given their quiet, contemplative nature, how do those gifted with introversion establish mutually beneficial friendships in a world of noise and speed? Afton Rorvik has written a thoughtful, elegantly researched guide to friendship that will serve as a welcome companion to all those desiring to live in connection.

Maggie Wallem Rowe, speaker and author of This Life We Share

Afton Rorvik gets me. If you’re an introvert, she gets you too. She knows a bit about what it is to live in your skin. In Living Connected, Rorvik leads the reader down a path of discovery and self-understanding. I discovered grace to embrace how and who I am as well as fresh strategies to live well—and to live loved—as an introvert. No one who’s an introvert should miss this book!

Margot Starbuck, author of The Grown Woman’s Guide to Online Dating

We all know we’re called to love each other. But how? The truth is, we don’t always know how to be a good friend—and who among us is brave enough to ask for help learning such a skill? In Living Connected, Afton Rorvik writes with honesty and clarity, drawing from her own wisdom to gently coach us on the journey to friendship. However skilled you may be at relationships, I’m confident you’ll benefit from this heartfelt and practical guide.

Catherine McNiel, author of Fearing Bravely: Risking Love for Our Neighbors, Strangers, and Enemies.

You don’t have to be an extrovert to have meaningful friendships! If you are an introvert, Afton Rorvik’s Living Connected will help you make and grow authentic, healthy relational connections without becoming someone you’re not.

—David Horton, former Editorial Director, Bethany House Publishers

In Living Connected, Afton Rorvik has created a guidebook out of the old adage “if you want to have a friend be a friend.” This book takes some of the guesswork out of the complexity of friendship, particularly for introverts, like me, who might otherwise resort to just going it alone. And for extroverts, this book offers insight into the introvert mindset that might get in the way of meaningful friendship. In an age where loneliness has become epidemic, Living Connected is a must-read.

Charity Singleton Craig, author of The Art of the Essay

You might not think an extrovert would enjoy a book about introverts and friendship, but then again, you might be wrong. I absolutely devoured Afton Rorvik’s Living Connected: An Introvert’s Guide to Friendship. Not only did Rorvik remind me of the many important qualities in any good relationship—such as empathy, approachability, honesty, loyalty, humility, creativity, and generosity—but her words gave me greater understanding into people who are wired differently from me. I especially appreciated the practical application through journaling prompts and sidebars. Let’s face it, relationships and community are a priority for everyone today, so why not soak up wisdom from those who have learned the delicate dance of both coming together and time apart? If you’re ready, Living Connected is a great place to start.

Lucinda Secrest McDowell, award-winning author of Soul Strong and Life-Giving Choices

Living Connected is an engaging and practical guide to forming and maintaining emotionally healthy friendships. Afton specifically addresses introverts, but all personality types will benefit from both the writings and chapter journaling questions. An essential read!

Jennifer Stenzel, MA, LCPC, Executive Director of Jennifer Stenzel Clinical Associates, Ltd.

As Afton Rorvik thoughtfully reminds us, “trust builds relationships.” In a time when so many relationships are crumbling, how can we rebuild trust? With chapters on topics such as curiosity, confidentiality, and creativity, Living Connected provides useful scaffolding to help introverts (and extroverts too!) continue the crucial work of relational repair.

Melanie Weldon-Soiset, poet, former pastor, and #ChurchToo spiritual abuse survivor

One strength of the book is how it is rooted in the thinking and reflection of others who have wrestled with friendship. Afton challenges and encourages her readers as she challenges and encourages herself. The book possesses a vulnerable tone, a hallmark of true friendship and evident in Afton’s prose.

Dr. James H. Brownlee, Associate Provost and Professor of English at Malone University.

As a committed introvert, I love this book! Afton Rorvik names the challenges we face, validates our needs, and encourages us to bring our unique gifts to the world. If you’re married to or friends with an introvert, Living Connected will help you to better understand how we tick. Anyone wanting to be a better friend will find encouragement and wisdom in this book.

Living Connected is not just for introverts. It’s for anyone navigating friendship in the twenty-first century. If you are an introvert, Afton Rorvik gets it. She will validate your needs while encouraging you to come to the table with your unique offering. If you’re in relationship with introverts, Living Connected will help you to better understand what it’s like for them to live in an extroverted culture. Anyone wanting to be a better friend will find encouragement and wisdom in this book.

Dorothy Littell Greco, author of Making Marriage Beautiful and Marriage in the Middle

I have lived many of my eighty years without ever thinking about the challenge introverts face. In fact, when I did think or talk about introversion, it was usually with a negative slant—like this was a problem those introverts needed to solve! My good friend Afton Rorvik began to change that for me a few years ago, as she shared her life and writings with me. Now in this new book, she makes a powerful and persuasive case for the need and the resulting joy and strength that come from staying connected. Although she addresses it to introverts, It speaks to us outgoing extroverts just as much. In her wonderful storytelling style, she offers practical advice and suggestions on how to stay connected. Introvert or not—this is a book you need to read!

Mary Whelchel Lowman, founder and speaker, The Christian Working Woman

Everyone should read this book! As a functional extrovert with an introvert’s soul, I found Living Connected enlightening, entertaining, and immediately applicable. Extroverts will deepen their understanding of their more introverted friends. Introverts will learn the built-in strengths they can bring to every friendship and how to leverage these gifts to “live connected.”

Stephen Maret, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Nyack College

I loved the depth and breadth of Afton’s exploration of friendship—and what gets in the way. Wise, transparent, funny, practical. I learned much, and so will you.

Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse, writer, speaker, semi-introvert